New homeowner inherits a 1,300-square-foot nettle patch

A brand-new homeowner turned to the internet with a relatable problem: What do you do when your dream garden comes with a nightmare-size patch of stinging nettles?

According to a chorus of gardeners, the answer may be surprisingly simple: rent goats.

What’s happening?

On Reddit, the homeowner said the area had already been sprayed with glyphosate, but they were still facing “122 square meters of nettles taller than I am.” That works out to about 1,300 square feet. They also said that because the house is terraced, hauling the cut growth out to a dumpster through the home would be a major hassle.

One practical reply paired disposal advice with a tool recommendation. After suggesting “a metal brush cutter disc” for a strimmer to deal with the thicker stems, the commenter added: “Nettles make great compost, but you can also turn into a liquid feed by putting them in a big plastic drum with water and closing it up.”

A densely overgrown garden with tall nettles and a wooden fence in the background under a partly cloudy sky.

Others suggested cutting the patch back and then covering it with a tarp, cardboard, or a thick layer of wood chips.

Then came the goat supporters. Several readers took the idea seriously.

“Goats mate get Goats,” one commenter wrote, and another added: “No but really. Some places will rent goats for this purpose so you don’t have to suddenly own a bunch of goats if you don’t want to.”

Why does it matter?

This kind of yard headache is common for new homeowners, especially when a neglected lot suddenly becomes their responsibility.

What looks like useless overgrowth can still be a resource, whether as compost, future fertilizer, or the starting point for a healthier landscape.

The homeowner had already sprayed the patch with glyphosate. Some commenters noted that sprayed plants may limit options for composting or making liquid feed right away.

Replacing part or all of a traditional grass lawn with native plants, clover, buffalo grass, or xeriscaping can reduce mowing time, cut water bills, and lower the need for fertilizers and herbicides. Even a partial lawn replacement can offer those benefits while creating a yard that is easier to maintain.

What can I do?

The low-cost approach is usually to cut first, then smother the regrowth. A tarp, cardboard topped with mulch, or wood chips can help weaken unwanted plants over time, though stubborn roots may still need follow-up removal.

If chemicals have already been used, it may be best to avoid turning that material into garden feed until the area is better understood and managed.

If you are redesigning the space afterward, it may be worth skipping the standard lawn reset altogether. Native plants can thrive with less watering and maintenance; clover can stay green with less fuss; buffalo grass can handle heat well in the right climate; and xeriscaping can dramatically reduce water use.

For more ideas, check out the TCD Guide’s pages on rewilding your yard and upgrading to a natural lawn.

The original poster summed up the situation by writing: “Anything would be better than feeling like a Borrower whenever I stand outside my back door.”

In a comment below the post, the OP also sounded ready to try a different approach next season: “But next year, when they come back for round 2 they’re getting liquified!”

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