There is something lacking in education in this country.
I discovered this yesterday in the backyard of a rented house in the Midlands.
The fruit of my loins had just come to the end of their university in a rented house and now faced the simple task of returning the keys to the agent before 1st July.
Like many a university parent, I converted my modest family car into a removal van by flattening the back seats, filling it with some cardboard boxes and started out early on the 300-mile round trip.
“We have to leave it as we found it,” I was told.
“And there’s a few weeds in the garden I’ve got to cut back, so can you bring some garden stuff.”
“You mean shears and secateurs,” I said, wondering why everyday gardening tasks and naming of implements had eluded the national curriculum.
“Yeah,” came the uncertain reply.
Just in case, and for good measure, I added the hefty pair of loppers and some gardening gloves. You never know.
When I arrived he noted the scars of my recent operation. “why don’t I do the back yard while you go and charge the car up. Won’t take long.”
I accompanied him to the yard with the tools and gloves.
I was greeted by a vista reminiscent of the crowded tropical greenhouse in Kew Gardens.
Whereas I struggled to keep cherished plants in my garden alive during the heat wave, clearly weeds, shrubs and small trees in the Midlands thrived on neglect and climate change.
A herculean task awaited.
“I’ll give you hand,” I said reassuring us both that my physio had advised gentle exercise. We set to.
I should have brought two pairs of gloves and a pruning saw.
Four hours of back-breaking hard labour, readily familiar to prison chain gang inmates, revealed paving and fencing hidden behind the undergrowth.
I resented that weeds could grow so fast, so thickly, and so impenetrably with nothing but neglect whilst my raspberry canes back home struggled to produce six fruits.
“Where are we going to put it all?” I asked. “In the wheely bin.”
My second reproach at inadequate education.
How could anyone with a maths and physics A level even think that the volume of debris that surrounded us would fit in a bin.
But resourcefulness it would seem, was on the curriculum.
In a few moments, he’d gathered up empty bins from all the empty student houses along the street and we filled a good half dozen.
We arrived home at midnight.
Neighbourhood websites seem awash with those seeking help with weeding their garden.
I think it unlikely my son will apply.
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