My father in law came by our house yesterday and saw our yard. I finally had it certified as a wildlife habitat last year, and he hates it. He’s 1950’s mow it all down, HOA compliant, deet and glyphosate at the ready. He makes my husband feel bad but I’m so defensive over my yard and my gardens. They’re not perfect but I’m working so hard to make it a little bit of the country in the middle of the city. Birds having a safe home here makes me happy.
I guess if I’m making a Kentucky blue grass lawn officianado upset I’m on the right track?
by Cucurbita_pepo1031
18 Comments
Good thing they don’t live there. Not their yard, not their problem. If it pains them to see, stay home.
Shouldn’t your father in law understand how personal property works?
Lawn grass is the most common irrigated crop in the entire US. There’s so much grass that native plants and animals have gone (and are going) extinct. Yes, you’re very much on the right track.
I’ll never understand why people talk about the beauty of nature in places like national parks, but hate seeing the samw natural beauty in their own backyard.
Some people have such a stupid craving to have the most uniform looking and unnatural monoculture.
Just remind yourself that the ignorance of him and his generation shares responsibility for the extinction crisis currently happening.
And your yard is helping undo it.
Has he tried just fucking off ?
My MIL made the standard “it just looks like weeds comment about our front yard. I pay it no mind as any discussion about the benefit of native plants, pollination, etc will just fall on deaf ears.
My FIL uses glyosphate on everything and is DIRECTLY ON A CANAL THAT LEADS TO THE ATLANTIC. I don’t know how the generation that read silent spring ended up like this
Unless they’re landscaping for you or paying your mortgage….. They haven’t got any right to say a word about your property.
They sound insufferable and I’m sorry you have to deal with boomer bellends like that.
Sucks to suck. Maybe you can add a big decorative rock for them to kick when they visit.
Your in laws job is to drive you insane. It’ll build character!
Hey Kentucky friend, keep going! I’m slowly making a no mow safe space for wildlife and it is hard work. You are doing a great job! Never let the haters win.
That’s how I view my yard. Bringing the country back into the city. It literally is an oasis for wildlife.
You have a people problem, not a gardening problem.
I don’t think this is the best place to look for help because we aren’t family or couples counselors.
You and your husband might find guidance in this book
https://preview.redd.it/b3yqmb25pwzg1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b2a9f8948317f4350e4f303d8c828cadc127f99
Is that short primrose in your lawn. If so, I’m trying to do the same after seeing a large patch of it. So pretty!
My Midwest neighborhood has majority golf course lawns. my neighbors on both side do the same. But I’m so very lucky that they support me in my very long learning process with natives knowing that our yard will never match. They even took some plants from me.
I don’t know it your father in law can be won over, but ignore his negativity and keep sharing your wins for nature. Maybe one day he will at least understand.
Anecdotally, if they whine about what’s yours, use their logic. Tell them to not say anything unless they have something nice to say, except when their criticism is asked for. If they ask why “because I said so.” Again, only from personal experience but it has helped me keep that convo off limits to family and neighbors many times.
Do you have anything edible growing? Maybe your FIL would connect some dots about what a natural landscape can be if you two were to serve something like wild violet lemonade, spicebush cookies, redbud flower salad, etc.
PS – why do they hate your house? What’s wrong with them, telling you that they hate your house?
Simple conversation: state your boundaries and tell him to make no comments about your lawn. Can you do that or is it too much confrontation? Practice what you will say. Ask if he understands your boundaries. Future complaints can refer back to this conversation as you pointedly tell him to STFU!
Start calling them Mr and Mrs Monsanto.