My most meaningful plant

This is gonna be a lot of yap but i just wanted to share.

So i have a lot of pets and a lot of plants and i love them so so much but sometimes they can get an eensie bit overwhelming. I was always worried that if something bad happened i wouldnt be able to take care of them and my plants specifically would pass away. I thought that that would just make things worse and my life would cave in on itself. well unfortunately,

The worst thing in my life happened BUT no plants have gone, my best friend since i was in middle school passed away. Coincidentally the day he passed away i bought a plant that was meant to symbolize “there was a time things were better”.

I don’t mean to get political but one of the plant creators i follow had talked about the swedish ivy plant in the white house, and me and my mom were shopping for a big hanging plant for our kitchen! I saw the swedish ivy, told her about the significance and what it meant to me and many others, and we got it! I bring it home, we put up the plant, and i’ve never been so excited. It was out of body excitement! I was jumping, “whisper” screaming and dancing cuz i was literally so excited about this plant and how cool our kitchen looked. That’s the last time i felt excited like that

As i’m this excited, my phone rings, i pick it up and my friend is crying. I’ll skip all the awfulness but i just wanted to share how life can change the meaning of these little things. Like this plant. It was loosely personal, i thought the idea was cool and it made me feel like it’ll get better someday. Now it serves as a reminder of the worst day of my life but not in a horrible way for some reason. i just think it’s interesting how the intended meaning stayed the same but the story behind it changed drastically. Hopefully this is making sense! But regardless, it shows that despite the evil and awful and deep deep sadness, we can grow, even if it takes years, months, or decades.

I thought all my plants would die, i thought i’d fail and have to start over but my plants have continued to be the reminder that we can keep going and keep getting better a little bit everyday. So here’s some before and after photos as well.

I’m having a good today too, it’s been nearly 3 months. I got up early today even thought i fell asleep really late because i wanted to get up early, take a shower, clean my house, take care of some other chores i put off and clean my room. I’m also gonna try to catch up on some homework, and maybe go thrifting or plant shopping! I wanna go for a walk too! I spent the last two full days scrolling on my phone so today i’m not scrolling, i’ve been listening to music for 6 hours! I like listening to old playlists! I also looked through old photos for fun.

My plants are watered, my tanks are topped off, all my buddies got a good meal. It does get better, and i’m still here because of all these little lives, they need me as much as i need them!

Since his passing i committed to a college, i got offered a job in a little plant store and i took it, I’m no longer scared of public speaking since i read his eulogy, i was awarded a big scholarship which helped my parents a lot, i was offered an internship at a aquascaping store, i made a song because he told me i shouldn’t be scared to sing, and ive met some cool people.

I really miss my friend. But he’d want me and everyone else to keep going. Not a second has gone by where i don’t think about him. Everyday i try to make him proud. Some days im lazy but that’s totally okay. Take things day by day, today i feel good, tomorrow i might not! Regardless there will be a day where everything is okay.

So i want you to know you are loved, i care about you! “Grow through what you go through!” Give yourself time, there’s a lot of stuff left to do and a lot of awesome stuff to see. The world would not be the same without you, so please stay. Love you all and i hope you have a lovely day.