








I gifted my boyfriend this weird ass succulent a year ago but it didn’t look anywhere near as freakish then, honestly i’m starting to get worried it was raised in some chernobyl soil or something but he won’t let me ungift it so i can get it the hell away from us unfortunately
Does anyone know what the fuck this thing is, and can i pay one of you stage a break-in and take the damn thing before it mutates any further i do not feel safe
by xsjdxfjdhd

35 Comments
This is kind of urgent folks
I’m laughing at how this plant is causing you so much pain 😂 this plant is very freaky looking and I don’t blame you. I also think it’s pretty cool though. It is not a jade, but it’s some sort of succulent but I literally do not exactly know this thing is crazy
Wait, it might be a dwarf jade???
My guess: it’s a Crassula of some type with fasciation, which is/can be a genetic mutation depending on the exact cause. Pretty rare example, but there is nothing harmful to your health here. At all!
I don’t know but I wouldn’t untie it. It might come after you.
It has a little swirl pattern visible like a burro’s tail
It looks like a kind of Crassula, maybe a subspecies. It reminds me of the crassula ovata “Gollum” but the leaves are different
It could be a Sedum of some kind, maybe Sedum Pachyphyllum.
The red aerial roots and leaf shape look similar anyway.
I want it that looks cool as hell
Sedum pachyphyllum f. cristatum
https://www.llifle.net/Encyclopedia/SUCCULENTS/Family/Crassulaceae/19402/Sedum_pachyphyllum_f._cristatum
If I were in the same country you are, I would beg for one of its babies. I want one!
Hahaha I adore how you roped her up to keep her stable and pretty but have plsdie written next to her 😂😂
If I remember correctly, It’s a type of Echeveria, I don’t remember the subspecies though, but I do know that one is growing strangely.
It’s most likely growing that wsy either due to tissue cultire (which can happen sometimes due to it affecting it’s hormones) or because of a genetic mutation that’s making it grow quicket.
There’s nothing wrong with the plant, it’s just growing quicker (and more stretched out) that it should.
Hi, OP. It seems like you’ve got a collector piece. There’s a whole world of rare and deform succulents called monstrous. Not all of them are rare, but I cannot find one similar to this anywhere. I think it’s a sedum pachyphyllum.
Give it a try in r/succulents they might know better. Maybe there is a sub for succulents collectors or sedums. Search for them and maybe you can even get some good money for this freak 🤣
Unrelated but I love your stained glass!!
This is why I love plants. Each of them have their own personality and will grow in unique ways.
it’s different, i love it untie it and let it live 😊♥️
Radioactive Crested Jelly Bean
Even comes with an antenna and some wiring to contact the mothership.
Not sure but it hungers
It’s very happy being weird and wants to sprawl along your shelf or windowsill – let it!
https://preview.redd.it/34rsyotvnp4f1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e5feaf5e0eec8a5216def4ca0afe4a4ef610503
I also thought jade. But this is absolutely different. Can’t wait till someone figures this out! I want one.
Oh my god it’s disgusting. I want a cutting so bad
Mimbulus Mimbletonia
don’t tickle it, it might spit
Okay this is a stone plant I have one that isn’t roped up and it droops waaaaaay down
Hey, this looks like a crested jellybean sedum, and it’s not sick or anything just a good natured fun mutation 🙂 also please un-bondage her, sedum usually starts hanging down once it grows taller. Also it looks like it would benefit from more light, in full sun they can become completely red, the right amount of sun usually shows in pink tips.
Poor succulent 😪 they wanna be freeeeeee
It’s cute has a big personality lol
Omg I love all crested mutations, they’re so fucking alien and creepy.
Ummm. If it goes missing, it’s not at my house. Absolutely not at my house. Nope. Nuh uh. A monstrose jellybean?!
Love use Google lens there’s plenty of info for u
I would say meanwhile file a complaint somewhere! Anywhere!
Just to be on the safe side🧐 You never know with these plant creatures!
(you are deformed!🎶)

It clearly enjoys being tied up and degraded, you might want to slow down with the exhibitionist posts or it will just explode with growth all over the place 🌱💦
Your succulent is crested and it is highly desirable to have this happen. You’re lucky. 🍀