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37 Comments
No wonder I have soooooooo many cats !! You are making a ton of sense. I love my garden and thrive watching everything grow as I take care of it all and am rewarded with beauty , food and happy birds and insects flitting around. I was forced to go to jury duty today ….and it totally made me mad and become stressed out with the inconvenience of wasted time, tick, tick, tick….I hated everything and pretty-much everyone as I don't trust the process and it is a dangerous drive there and back. You are awesome in your elegant, real and up-lifting talk on an important topic , especially in this day and age. I love the way you take grace upon yourself as we all should. You are a great detailed speaker… and you are speaking loudly to our hearts and soul. I love unwinding on my garden bench after a hard day of retail, pushing products to the floor and dreaming of getting out of there. I love the "body-guard" …or was it body-double ??, either way, we all need team-work to uplift us and get a new perspective on everything. I appreciate your analogies on life and the way that you get real with your-self and look at what is important. Exciting watermelon indeed.
I never even knew it was called body doubling but I here toy do that with my husband. I don’t mind doing a task when he is with me!!!!
I’m not officially diagnosed but so relate to so much of this! Coffee in the garden. A chair in the garden. Listening to music or podcasts while gardening. Getting overwhelmed. Feeling constant failure (bad bugs to fight, diseases, weeds). Always feeling behind. “The garden simply demands more than we can give it!” I have to talk positive affirmations to myself and know that even if one plant dies I have 29 that lived and produced etc etc!!
MOST of all I relate to your statement of when you want to do something it’s all you want to do but if you don’t want to do something it feels like DEATH!!!! So. So. So. Relate to that!!!!
And yes can’t set in good habits no matter how hard I try and will it to happen!!
Keep doing what you do girl! You’re such a blessing!!
I don't think experiencing failure makes you a failure as a human or as a gardener. Even after many many failures. It's still all relative. So what if one tomato rots, one tomato plant dies, all 36 of your tomato plants die? At no point are you really a failure. If your best friend told you she thought she was a failure because she killed her plant, would you agree with her, or would you get her a cactus? 🌵
My oldest child is ADHD yes she is the most frustrating person to be around but she is the most empathetic person in our family. In a pinch she is who we rely on.
I knew I loved you and loved watching your channel for a reason! I have lived with ADD/ADHD undiagnosed (I'm also a medical professional, so I know I meet the criteria, I would choose to go unmedicated so I choose not to waste money on an official diagnosis). I have friends who have shared their experiences and my life mirrors theirs and your experiences you shared today! Thank you so much for sharing!!
Thank u Jess for this video! Bless your beautiful heart
Love Nicky from Australia
I started this video four hours ago! I get it. 🤗
Forty years ago, my husband and I read a book about Adult ADD – it was new for people to think that only children had it. The main reason is a teacher with over 20 kids she is trying to teach can have one child that gets up and runs around or stares out the window the whole day. The teachers have learned how to help those kids OR SHOULD HAVE and a few counselors decided that no one really outgrows ADD but there are no more teachers to observe grown up and give "poor attention" report cards. Technology to help educate us we find reasons and solutions for 'abnormal' behaviors. I had read the book out loud to my husband while on a long boring road trip and he started crying and got angry and said "I waited on one side of the highway to cross the road for about 1/2 hour when I was not yet 10 years old because my Mom told me to make sure no cars were coming and I couldn't take a chance that one would hit me so I froze. I didn't finish high school since I just couldn't sit still." He forced himself to finish 12th grade but lacked 1/2 credit of getting a diploma.
We had found the reason for his actions relief was immediate – why he acted the way he did, and his new quest was to find out how to help himself. He managed but not well and realized his Mom passed hers on to him (and he realized why she acted the way she did) and now my two children seem to have it slightly but not enough to need meds – then I realized I was totally ok with how my husband behaved since both my parents had it seriously bad. I guess you do marry your parents since that is what is known and comfortable. Weird. My little brother has it and my son's wife has it the worst. So easy to see once you've lived with it.
Now your video gave me really big help in coping and in understanding – didn't know about the dopamine connection to happiness. My grand kids have it as my daughter married a man that also had it as a kid. We all survive together and I understand why I do certain things from your video, also. I've learned coping methods from helping them and found it helped me, too. THANK YOU so much for bringing this to light.
This should be required viewing for kids in high school. I know it would help so many understand – why is it so common? Because we all have unequal measures of stuff inside us. I had low blood sugar as a child that changed to high blood sugar as an adult. I take a little medicine but can control it mostly from diet which I had to learn as the doctor just threw meds at me. Your video is like a window opening and blowing fresh air into a stale room. I hate doing dishes and found that drinking a large glass of water before beginning with a promise to myself that I wouldn't go to the bathroom until I finished made it easier and quicker. LOL Tricks are wonderful helpers. THANK YOU AGAIN!
I'm almost 80 and began gardening again because of your videos about 5 years ago and now because of you have learned to sit in my garden chair and stare at ants working so hard. I've found my joy after sitting and thinking of how God made those ants wise enough to build a castle in the sandy soil of Florida that doesn't cave in and keeps them safe as I pray and find my joy after working hard, sweating like crazy and then sitting to praise God for all his creations.I'm so much happier because of you!
Thanks for sharing your journey. It helps to understand where folks are coming from. I have always struggled with humans desire to put everyone in a box with a label, but if it helps folks deal with what's going on, I guess it can't be all bad. As far as I know I don't have either of them, although I do wonder sometimes as I am man of plans, starts and stops, squirrel, easily distracted, etc. But over the decades of doing this, I have figured out what I need to do…some of the coping mechanisms you have are ones that I use to get things done. Somedays, I just want to feel like I got something accomplished. And overwhelm is handled by breaking it into bite size chunks. Good discussion. Thank you!
Jess, this is a very interesting explanation. Thank you.
This video is amazing!!! I have no diagnosis but I struggle with a lot of the things you’re talking about😳🤣😳and LOVE your solutions!!! This channel is absolutely wonderful because it’s not only about gardening or homesteading, it’s about life!!! I love your thoughtful approach and all the wonderful stories, ponderings and heartfelt sharing of suggestions on how we can succeed! Thank you from the bottom of my heart Jess!❤
I haven't been diagnosed with it but I know I have it. I have 5 kid's and 4 out of 5 have it. I spent 15 yrs as a single parent to them and worked a 40 hr a wk job. My kids are my world. To this day I will drop everything to go help them. What I struggle with is putting me first. I know I need to physically but I don't sayknow when someone need me instead. I have a garden, animals and a home to care for. Jess your living my dream. A big piece of land and beautiful garden.
I've read most of these comments searching for tips. The chair in the garden helps a lot. A couple people mentioned books to read that will help. Just seeing how many people commentted and are dealing with ADHD is surprising. We could help each other out . Hey Jess 🤔 you have roots and refuge, your devotionals and the farmers table. They are all amazing. Now you have discovered a online community of ADHDers. Now how can we be body doubles for each other.😂
PS. I do the cookbook thing too!!!❤
Conversing instead of conversating which isn't a word.
I find you the most inspiring. I’ve actually watched you for YEARS not a good comment or 🤣 but I feel like forever. And 🤌🏽 Jess you and your family inspire me. I thank you
Wow! You’ve so defined who I am! Flitting all over and never accomplishing one thing! I was hyperactive when little but I’m thinking it was undiagnosed ADHD. (No, I’m not putting it as a crutch to define my failures). Thank you for bringing this subject to light. I’ve been trying to bring balance to my life by trying to alter and maneuver around my thinking. Great overwhelm has always hung over my spirit. Thinking something was wrong with me but realizing I’ve been cutting out all the things that bring me joy; like sitting outside with coffee in the morning. God bless you, sweet Girl. ❤
So I have had rehome my horses having them 2 years old one 17 and the other 23. I tried turning water troughs and round pen into a garden. Planted sunflowers all along all the fencing. We have been 6 weeks basically no rain. I can't water my garden for fear of my well going dry. Great video but I know figure out what I can do to make myself happy how's everything is dead here in Pennsylvania. Farmers crops are failing. ❤
Yes, yes, yes and again… YES!!
Thank you once again 😊
Again Jess hitting the nail on the head with your videos. Thank you so much for everything you do. I appreciate you.
Oh goodness the medications my ex doctor would test subject me on. Were absolutely disgusting. I ended up getting air lifted to the hospital because of depression meds. I wasn't even depressed. I had anxiety. The ER doctor called my doctor and cussed him up and down after he seen the list of medications my ex doctor had given me in under 2 years. He almost killed me. I ended up on a benzo. No not good at all. but honestly it saved my life. It helped calm me down. Slow things down for me. I have now gotten off this medication. Now I am using more natural teas etc to replaces it.
Yes! Very helpful, thank you. I feel a lot of these are helpful in everyday life. Thanks for being so transparent – it helps the rest of us.
Its interesting how having a main occupation or hobby can help you find the tactics that work for you to help with focus issues. I've found that through education (first my own then helping my students as I moved into a staff position upon graduation). I try to share some of those tactics with my students too since attention in the "cell phone generation" is much harder to maintain.
SO glad you're touching on this. I've been spotting symptoms for a long time but didn't want to be pushy and long-distance diagnose! But I knew if that turned out to be the case you would be SUCH a resource of knowledge for gardeners with ADHD. I also forego medication for health reasons and the bread-and-butter of attempting to do that is being mindful of areas where you 'fail' and building structure around those areas to either prevent failure or learn how to fail well. Collecting tips from others becomes a hobby 😉
This is my life!! I only had 1 doctor tell me she thought I have add which totally makes sense. Focusing on one task at a time is such a struggle and my husband tells me I have so many things I start and not finish. Thank you for validating so many of us. ❤
First, I want to say that I always, always, always come away from watching you feeling inspired, or more educated on a subject, or just validated. Today, you helped me understand my son, just a little bit more. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was just a kid, and struggled with not being able to still his brain enough to focus on a task. He talked a lot, and if he wasn't talking his body was constantly moving. We did have him on medication when he was in grade school, but he did not like the way it made him feel, so we took him off the meds when he was a teen. He struggled through high school, even though he was, and is, a very intelligent person. At 41 he is learning more and more about his adhd and what makes him motivated and how to keep his motivation on track so that he can stay on task. I am proud of him for not giving up, even when times were really hard for him. Thank you, so very much for giving me a little more insight into my son. You absolutely inspire me. In the garden….and as a human. You make me want to be better. Thanks so much.
When I got my diagnosis, I remember just crying. It made sense.. I had an IEP all the clues were there.. I felt like such a bad kid because I couldn’t keep up with everyone… I knew I was trying harder than the rest
THANK YOU for doing this video!! I have ADHD and the struggle is REAL! So thankful not be alone.
Russell Barkley is a great researcher and has done decades of research on ADHD. In the last few years he started posting his presentations on YouTube.
They were a huge help for me to understand and help my family members.
Jess I really am so thankful for you in my life!! You do not know how much you comfort me and check me and tell me it's OK to do hard things. This video is GOLD!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you for taking about this!!!!
Would you be willing to share the cookbooks that you talked about?
I really appreciate this video because it helps me understand the challenges of ADHD etc. thank you
Ha…I call it “Late Onset ADHD”…because they didn’t have a name for it when I was young. But now…it’s so apparent that’s what I have going on in my 50’s.
I would love to see your cookbook shelf or booklist. I listened to you while I made crackers and labneh (dip) from my goats’ fresh milk but absolutely forgot to cook dinner (I mean, dinnertime only comes every single day, right?!) I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I developed many of those same traits from chemotherapy.
I don’t have a high school diploma either, but do have a couple college degrees that I got in later years. I was Married and pregnant my senior year so not allowed to attend classes in the60’s. Bad example they said. I only needed a credit and a half to graduate in 1965. I didn’t get a college degree till 2000. It never held me back as I worked in a factory, had my own business and was a manager. I got to go to college in my 40’s and 50’s because the company I worked for closed. So I was allowed to go to college rather than hunt for jobs during unemployment and they paid for my first associates degree.
I also tried the list when my children were young. I made that list with short tasks. So when I wanted to stop, I would think, well that task will only take 10 minutes, get it done then go on to the next. Before you know it the list is done and I can make a new one.
I love this, thank you!!!!
My daughter was watching me in the garden one day and told me…mom i am pretty sure you are adhd..lol
As someone with ADHD this helped me so much thank you! your channel always inspires me ❤
Im an undiagnosed adhd sufferer
But i think of it positively
I see it as my creative side but it made school hell
But i love to learn still learning at close to fifty