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Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:28 Why A Narcissist has a bizarre routine and set of hard-to-change habits
00:56 The narcissist’s behavior is controlled by a set of habits
01:52 Rigidity in repeatability
02:36 They dissociate through the routines and habits
03:33 These routines give them a false sense of functionality
04:43 Sync the inner world with outer
05:18 Routines sustain and maintain their false self
28 Comments
My narc has OCD especially compulsive shopping for items she does not need and never uses. At one time she was spending over £30,000 a year using credit cards and then paying them off from by bank account.
I also dont understand why they do not have this mechanism as we have – if you feel bad inside, you want smth. positive from outside to lift you up.
That they want to see negativity and search for it or try to create it and hold to it. Thats something very different.
Genial post, as always!
Over cleaning house and yard to the max and the car wash goes to everyday
This fool:
Ate chicken with sriracha, beets and potatoes everyday
Had to workout same time, everyday
Always had a used flosser on the sofa next to him
Convinced his brother and girlfriend that he is all knowing (convicted felon and ex? adderall addict, no job, lives off his girlfriend and brother)
No empathy. Could NOT tolerate a differing opinions. Controlling even on vacation. Claims to be a "daytrader"…so unemployed. Unfortunatly, this fool is the brother of my NOW ex-boyfriend. Their codependency and my 44 year old ex's inability to stand up to his felonious, unemployed, soulless 45 year old pathetic brother was enough for me to leave. Once you see the narcissist for who they are, you canNOT unsee it.
Danish, thank you for your channel and videos. I found you after an abusive encounter with this fool. I couldn't believe everyone around him was tolerating his crap. Once I called out his bull, I became the enemy for disrupting the toxic pathology.
Lol! I like how you call these weirdos out.:D
Wow, i still sometimes doubt if my ex was really nasicisist, when i see the coments and remembered the things he ised to do. It just matches with him. He had an obsession with having someone rubbing his head, and he woufl go to get his hair cut so often that brought me to question if he was normal, he would religiously go the the baber to get polished. He was so weird. I suse d to tell him but you have no more hair for them to work on, you jsut wasting ur money bit he wouldn't listen. It is sad to say it because i loved him and it is my husband still but we are separated. I am better without him. I am thankful to God he got me put of thta crazy life. All Glory to God, thank u my savior Jesus he made everything all right. I am so happy now. Jesus is the answer to any problem.😁
After sex always showers primps
She vacuums every day
He started an online organization to get money and use I.M to stalk his victims….he is evil
💯he’s chaotic, paranoid & extremely disorganized. When I worked out of state temporarily,even tho I pre-cooked/froze meals that he simply had to heat up, he started eating on a regular basis at a local colleges cafeteria. Even after I completed my out of state assignment,he continued to eat at that cafeteria. I’ve figured out that this is so he’ll be around young supply & he’s been able to transform the cafeteria workers into flying monkeys. They see me as a neglectful wife. I say good because he’s gonna need somewhere to eat after this divorce❤️😊👍🏾.
Some of these people comment on regular routines and say that’s normal to have a routine, well that’s not what Danish is talking about ….1st of all he is stating weird repetitions & habits , and 2nd he is saying how often they are being done differently & weird compared to people that don’t have NPD , and if someone grew up or is around with NPD , believe me they know what he is talking about….🤷♀️
🤣🤣🤣 yes it is quite soulless and their paranoid
He was always on time for everything,he was maticulas when it came to cleaning and yard work.
Oh my goodness, thank you SO much for being SO open and honest about your life’s experiences. I want to say firstly, I’m so sorry you suffered, secondly I’m SO glad you were able to get through all this and absolutely turn it around. Your positivity and knowledge is helping lots of people, myself included. I am very grateful for you sharing such insight so others, like myself can understand this behavior, which I, for one have been subjected to. I’m definitely a LOT stronger and better educated on how to handle situations with these people because of you. Please realise the HUGE and Positive difference you are making to people’s lives through your channel. Can’t thank you enough 🙏🙏🙏
Danish I appreciate ur input..very informative
Danish, I’m wondering if NPD has any correlation to Asperger’s Syndrome.. even the chaos seemed to have a regular pattern and obviously a planned strategy.
As far as punctuality is concerned it seemed only if it was important to the narc. But certainly there were many things the narc deemed necessary to watch on tv.
For an inexplicable reason to me the narc habitually watched puss being taken out of pimples etc and thought it was funny when the narc saw my disgust then tried to put these scenes in front of my eyes! No and please don’t weren’t acceptable but a source of maniacal pleasure and laughter!
I figured out that my mom needs to be perceived as perfect as a survival skill she developed to survive her dad's psychological abuse. He was worst on her older sister, destroying her mind with gaslighting and nonsensical nitpicking, and unable to figure out what his problem was or how to deal with it, she drew the conclusion that being perfect was the key. So she developed an eleaborate act of holiness and fake niceness which most people fall for and she bullies those who don't into believing. It would be forgivable if she didn't need to gaslight me and destroy my mind and life to support her lie. I just want to tell her "your dad is dead now, stop worrying about him, and realize he was insane and terrible to begin with and you should have never worried about him to begin with." But alas…
This one is sooo good!!!!
This is so true. The one who is my 34 year old female roommate, on the other side of the house, took DAYS ( instead of employing common sense,) to learn to use the stove vent, and open 2 windows while cooking her stinky stuff. She kept using the dining room area for an electric skillet fry, sending grease into the dining room and living room area for me to have to freshen up later — since she doesn't like to clean in the first place and has cried and screamed at me in front of the Landlady that I'm "hurting her intentionally with the air freshener I use that makes her sick to her stomach." (She, however, thought she was entitled to spray vinegar all over the place and not wipe it up afterwards as a cleaning agent, especially before I would have company over to visit me.) She "pretended" to not know that me being allergic to garlic and onion meant allergic to their cooked fumes as well, and "sorry" only when she was called to task for it by my landlady, who shares a whatsapp private chat with us. On top of it, she seems to have Selective Amnesia, suddenly, that there is no cooking of pork in this household, and stunk up the kitchen even worse today with what smelled like days-old PICKLED pigs feet being burnt or overheated. She can't f-ing change her routine in a sensible way unless someone she plays up to (the Landlady) tells her to change. She also has developed the habit of hoarding for no good reason in her room – instead of using the ample empty kitchen cabinets to store her appliances and whatever she eats off of, when she sees me coming to make a cup of tea she quickly gathers her appliances and runs with them and her meal to her room, as if to intimate I am going to do some kind of harm to them or her. THEY REALLY ARE LIKE SOUL-LESS 4 YEAR OLDS, OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY UNLESS IT IS THEIR OWN. I have suspected her of having episodes of psychosis as well, and avoid her especially after sundown because of this. I have a few medical conditions of my own to clear up before the Lease expires, so I am behind closed doors on the other side of the house most of the time, and I thank you for the presence of your channel so that I can stop by and realise how many people are going through a process of becoming healthier before they physically leave the narc. (financially healthier, too!)
omg the nex I know was exactly like that, "religious and abusive". You're right on the lip service they do but they don't exactly indulge the religious deeds meanings and the implications of whatsoever. Sharing and spreading hadith and videos around but never actually do any of them. Calls you out on it but when you calls them out you're not respecting the "elder". Wow just wow.
I can relate to a lot of what you said about some of those weird routines & weird habits, that I had to experience with my mother and unfortunately partner .
The past 7 years learned about NPD , I tried to understand & learn because of the unusual ways that just don’t make sense to me or most people, that it was so extreme that I literally Google a odd behavior, that then pointed me to NPD .
To make a long story short , learning about it helped me better understand & also better deal with it over all , it took a very long time .
What I still don’t quite understand sometimes, and this might be a different video, how is it that very often these individuals with NPD , and I know most of it is just “supply” for them , but in some cases they know it will just backfire on them , which is so odd because all they want is admiration & be the best of all & well liked , but still mess up over & over again, is still a big ? for me ….🤷♀️
My mom's Narcissist behavior is religion/belief system based. "You're sinning". No one believes like I do, and you all are wrong. No one (man) wanted us ( the girls). When we were trying to Daye "tou're living wrong" or ""they're just fooling you. She wouldn't believe her 2nd daughter was getting married. No one really wanted her. What we found ou, she wanted to keep us all for herself.
My ex-wife is in this "End-time message believer's" church. She still attends the church servies 3 times a week with so much devotion, almost like a robot. This church believes the end of the world is near and only those in the church will be saved. One of the reasons we broke up is that I refused to participate in that madness. And what was worse, was that although she was a professing, heaven-bound and born-again Christian to others; she was a living devil at home.
They lie, cheat and lie to someone else that will agree they’d done no wrong which was messaging so many women on fb messenger it was crazy and he’d holler to the point of vicious verbal attacks . He even wanted understanding of why he’d had an affair on his last girlfriend who had died and he’d said he’d learned it but he was messaging. Other women on her too and why would a man in love even think about doing that? He’d messaged a woman two days before she died and two weeks after she died when he was grieving? And with the affair going to any site to talk to other women is how affairs start with sneaky conversations but I had friends who would send me screen shots of what he’d messaged them and it even went much further than that and once may be a mistake but twice is a choice!! He’d gotten mad at me over a meme that was supposed to be funny and when I said nothing much except that it hurt when he was talking about marriage and I wasn’t at that time which is why it was so funny and he has always hidden his real life from his fb life and he hollered at me for two days straight and I’d only ask him not to holler and my 17 year old son had never been around anyone acting that way and he told his friends something different and left the truth out and also said things about a sex life that weren’t true and he should’ve never said anything about me to anyone regarding sex period because it was so disrespectful and he would apologize and take it back or talk to someone who’d lie about it enough to get her to agree with him and then make sure I knew what she said and what he did there was almost unforgivable because there’s more lies in the conversation he shared with me and only so I’d know I was wrong and he was right and that’s not what it showed because it showed more disrespect and more lies that are easy to share because I have the screenshots when he said he didn’t have conversations with those women and some wouldn’t talk to him. But some would and that’s a conversation. It’s how badly he wants to be right instead of own it like he should’ve from the beginning and the first girl gave him good advice but he didn’t want advice he wanted her to agree with him and now we’re friends but since he did that and sent me that message or letter as he called in September of this year 2022 I’ve lost almost all the little bit of respect I had left for him. I think he’s destroyed our friendship and he knows that took his apology away because it showed me he still couldn’t own what he’d done and he never would. So he can’t apologize for something he doesn’t think he didn’t do but oh yea he did do it all and he’s all but removed himself from my life and he don’t even realize it and won’t until that day comes with a final good bye.
Mine told me he was OCD – I wasn't totally personally involved with him but close enough to see through the mask many times. His mask was a well put together polished doctor but underneath I saw a frightened little boy who never had any say about his life, always had to perform. OCD is all about controlling your environment whether it be a person, place or thing. It's so sad – but it's hard to show compassion for someone who turned out to be so evil.
The narcissist is demonically possessed. So you have to remove yourself completely in order to survive. That's it in a nutshell.
My sister hoards stuff, collections, food and recyclables. She has empty cardboard boxes stacked in the house and lots of empty cans which she sometimes washes. You can barely walk through the house because of all the stuff.