Hi r/homestead. I’m a general contractor working with a client who has a very specific, interlocking vision for their property (see map). I’m out of my depth on a few things and could use your specialized expertise:
* Animal & Waste Management: What is the most sanitary, durable flooring for a permanent, elevated dog kennel? Also, what are the best practices for fencing a combined peacock aviary and hog enclosure, and how do you size a large waste lagoon to guarantee zero runoff?
* Aggressive Botany: The client insists on cultivating running bamboo, mint, exclusively female Ginkgo trees, and greenhouse Durian. I need bulletproof, commercial-grade root barrier recommendations for the bamboo/mint. Also, does anyone know of specialized nurseries that sex-test Ginkgos before selling?
* Unusual Structures: The client wants heavy industrial metal plates ("wind gongs") hung in mature trees. What is the safest rigging method to secure hundreds of pounds of metal without harming the branches?
* Reflective Perimeter: We are installing a mirrored perimeter fence with stadium lighting. The client wants maximum light activation for nighttime security and crop illumination. What are the most ultra-sensitive, wide-range motion sensors on the market?
by KlooShanko
42 Comments
The HOA next door is having a stroke.
I swear to God I don’t even know what the fuck is happening anymore 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I just woke up and apparently we’re doing lines with landscape-architect draftsmen and raccoons???? Where did all of this snow come from, it’s nearly April???!??😆😂🤣
This setup won’t be complete without a tire fire burning 24/7.
Remove the tires. Fire risk.
Otherwise, I don’t see any problems with your client’s vision.
Needs more cow bell
It just keeps getting better, and I’m here for it
Ew, I see AI slop, I downvote
Is this sub basically a circlejerk now?
We need a step by step of this series lol
Where are the guinea hens ?
SPOTTED LANTERN FLY LFG!!!!!
no Bradford Pear grove?? Amateur hour over here.
*did I miss something*
Confused by all this AI art?
Are you raising the raccoons you catapult or do you know where an endless supply is?
Tires can also work for mosquito breeding. You forgot industrial scale pot farm and meth cooking. Also highly recommend you add some drone pollination, just really big drones to blow pollen everywhere, plus the noise. Also add a large charter school with only street parking.
These just keep getting better and better
I just appreciate the amount of time people have (same person?) have/has spent on this. I do think it needs more invasive trees such as Japanese knotweed.
So glad the homeowner decided to nix the roosters. That was kind of them to be mindful of the noise levels for the neighbors’ sake.
Best one so far. 10/10
We’re just a few design steps away from a theme park, I’m ready 😂
This one is the best so far. Amazing work.
In case anyone is interested I have decided to forego the pond and chicken coop entirely 😄
The tree of heaven hosted lantern fly habitat is frying me
I’m used to these kinds of hijinks in /r/kitchenconfidential and I’m so glad yall are doing that shit here now too 🤣
It’s beautiful.
These are my new favorite posts here. 😂
This is my favorite timeline
Perfect no notes
Still doesn’t feel safe enough
Well, this has gotten stupid…
seafood compost pit 😂
Looks perfect!👌
I left Reddit for a few days and come back to.. what ever this is.. lol. Never change Reddit.
What about your surströmming emancipation facility? Those little fishes belong in the wild, not a can 🥺
The beagles sent me 🤣
Which app did you use
Feels like r/kitchenconfidential when the chives meme started taking off around here. Incredible work, everyone.
Im laughing so hard right now
I fucking love that I have watched this meme evolve in real time. I find it very funny but have no way of explaining it to anyone I know without sounding crazy.
Still no saddam hussain hiding place.
Well this has certainly escalated since yesterday.
I feel like I should drop an aggressive index finger in here.
I think the pond should be smaller. It’s a bit too large to offer optimal mosquito habitat right now.
I suppose you could add a stand of uncovered rain barrels around it to help with that too.
I know nothing about this homestead but I do find it hilarious