ABOUT four years ago, I shared a little about my life in a gated village beside the meandering Bremer River.

The tall gums along the riverbank sway gently in the breeze, and with the local wildlife and the country atmosphere across the river, it’s a lovely place to spend the days.

I also explained that I have CMT, which severely restricts my movement due to balance and walking difficulties.

I used to be an avid gardener, tending a vegetable garden with some 40 different types of plants. Sadly, that’s now a thing of the past.

These days, my garden consists of just a couple of fruit trees and about 80 pineapple plants. And that’s why this column is called the Lazy Gardener.

From time to time, I’ve mentioned that growing pineapples is far better than doing nothing at all.

I started around five years ago with just four plants, using heads sourced from the local juice shop. Today, there are 80 in the ground – and all at no cost.

If you enjoy eating pineapples, I highly recommend giving them a try, perhaps in a spare patch of ground you don’t use. They are among the easiest plants to grow.

They need very little watering, are mostly pest-free (except for the occasional large brown grasshopper that loves to munch on the leaves), and readily produce baby plants from the adult fruit.

Plant the tops, give them some patience, and you’re on your way.

Patience is key – they take around three years to grow from scratch. However, some can fruit in as little as 18 months, depending on soil quality, sunlight, and location.

In 2025, I picked 36 pineapples. The two previous years yielded 15 each.

While most were harvested within a six-month period, some continued ripening right through winter – the last was picked just a week ago.

Already, at least a dozen new fruits are forming, with more to come through summer.

Whether planted in the ground or in a suitable pot on a concrete base, pineapples will bear fruit in time. The trick is simply to have patience.

Till next time.

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