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Sometimes, standing up for peace and quiet comes at a cost.
So, what would you do if your neighbors planned a massive event in your shared garden that violated your lease, disrupted your weekend, and left trash and noise behind, but when you spoke up, they painted you as the villain? Would you go along with it to end the drama? Or would you stand your ground and brace for the backlash?
In the following story, one resident finds herself dealing with this very predicament and decides to speak out against it. Here’s what happened after that.
I (50f) live in a big apartment complex that has been converted into a Grade II listed building (for non-UK residents, this means it has historical significance).
We are lucky to have big communal gardens that create a nice space at the weekends to sit out with friends or alone.
In recent years, neighbours have taken to holding large (50+) parties that essentially mar days/evenings/nights at the weekends with loud music, external guests parking in resident bays, litter, using our grounds as a toilet (no facilities except in flats), and sometimes noise going on until the early hours.
Many times, it’s external people doing it, but nobody really wants to go and challenge them.
Understandably, some of the residents were against the event.
Recently, a new-ish tenant declared her intention to hold a big party on the grounds, and her Facebook post got a few “likes” (from her friends). However, when it came to the weekend in question, she had hired a massive marquee that could easily hold 100 people and decided to put it up right in the middle of the gardens.
Things kicked off in our Facebook group, and many of us posted things like “we get disturbed by big parties” or “it’s too much” – the ‘worst’ comment was “this is taking the ****, it’s a spaceship”
Another group of residents (interestingly, most of whom don’t get impacted by garden parties as they’re on the other side of the building) started name-calling and insulting those who said it’s too much: we are apparently “sad, mean, despicable, **********,” just some of the choice phrases.
Then, things took a turn for the worst.
We (the “too far” group) then all started getting trolled and messaged privately by this woman’s friends after we were accused of “piling on” the woman.
We then received a massive “pile on” of messages ranging from the “mean, miserable, despicable, sad old farts” to the petulant “I hope you’re happy” grumpiness backlash piled on all weekend.
Because they decided to move the party after our reaction. It got pretty toxic very quickly, to the point of bullying.
We said “no,” and apparently, that became “hurty words.” There may have been more to it from some individuals, but comments from our side were really tame. They made it personal to us.
AITA?
Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but there must be clear rules dictating whether these events are allowed or not.
Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit think about what happened.
According to this person, she shouldn’t be allowed after acting like that.
Here’s someone who would’ve taken it to management.
These are all valid questions.
As for this reader, they knew they were wrong.
They did what was right.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
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