hi! like it says in the title, my mom ripped out a lot of my native prarie plants because she thought they were "weeds" and "making the bed look crazy" (meanwhile… there are three visible saplings that should be cut down and actual trash in there) she's done this more times than i can count and i should be very resigned at this point to stop trying
but I really loved these flowers in particular, I bought the native prarie pack from the local soil and water conservation district (northwest illinois) with the last of my money when I was super unemployed and depressed last year and gardening as a hobby was the only thing I did for months.
I planted them over a year ago and they didn't thrive last year but shot up like crazy this year and were probably days away from blooming 🙁 I'm sad but I was wondering if anyone could tell me if preserving the roots would be worth something? im not super knowledgeable on taking cuttings and preserving from bare root.
these in particular are probably dahlias. I inserted a pic of the pack i bought because im actually not 100% sure and not sure if its relevant to any advice someone could give me.
thank you 😊
by lightbulbbroken
32 Comments
So sad! The milkweed might survive if some rhizome parts were left in the ground.
Otherwise, for all pulled plants maybe rehydrate the roots in some water for a few hours, then try to replant with lots of mulch and water somewhat regularly. Maybe cut the top half of some of the plants and stick them in a pot, optionally with rooting hormone, and see if they take.
Your moms a menace bro im sorry
The ones with the roots, maybe! Stick em back in the ground and water really well. Maybe also pending others advice, trim down the stalks while they’re trying to regrow new root systems?. Either way natives can be very hardy, just make sure to water water water.
Sorry this happened to you! My mom comes over and does the same thing. I know it’s well intentioned but it’s very frustrating and I am going to have to set a boundary with someone who is never wrong.
Best of luck with
Get those roots back in the ground and water them in stat! They have a decent chance of making it if they were pulled up just today.
Water again tomorrow. If they look wilty tomorrow, maybe trim off the top half so they can focus on recovering their root system instead of supporting all of their foliage.
I am not sure, but I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’ve been through a similar thing and it’s extremely disheartening. Keep up the good work
Yes. Put the roots back in yurt ground and water well. They will regrow but they will look bad for several months. Have hope!
I wish any of my kids cared about natives enough to buy some for the yard. Sorry this happened to you.
Cut back at least half the leaves on the plants. You do this because leaves use water and the roots are currently unable to take up water.
Ideally reestablish in a pot with a loose-ish draining mix that you water every day. Once it starts putting out new leaves for a week or two you can replant it in the ground.
Do this ASAP.
Hey 🙁 that sounds like your mom intentionally destroyed something that made you happy. The timing is way too specific (right before they bloomed). I am so sorry she did that but if you get them in the ground they should recover.
I had a mom that would behave similarly and it’s not okay, it is a kind of emotional abuse if this sort of thing happens regularly. If she sabatoges, naysays or puts down other things that make you happy she’s definitely doing it intentionally- in my experience resentful people do this when you’ve been feeling especially good and happy for awhile. I urge you to push back on her and lay down very clear boundaries with consequences (of what you’ll do if she does X). Treating these sorts of behaviors like they are coming from an immature toddler is a good way to ignore the “power” she thinks she has.
Your mom is just doing this to drive you away. This her being passiveagress and wanting you to move out. Im so sorry.
Just replant your plants and actually remove all the weed trees and garbage. If she does it it one more time you have your answer. Save all your money to get away.
I would put them back in the ground now and water the crap out of them
You need a motion sensor hooked up to a sprinkler. Keeps deer and moms away.
If she ripped them out by the roots, take a trowel, make a slit in the ground and slide the root in for each plant. Then baby them. Water them daily, and shade them (you can just put something next to them for shade, like a piece of lawn furniture or a big trashcan). They might make it. It depends for each on how big the taproot is. I even have accidentally pulled up my own ironweed seedling and I popped it back in, and it looked mostly dead for weeks, but survived.
If she left the root in the ground, they may come back. Probably will be stunted, because they put all their energy into the growth and now have less time to grow and store for winter.
I’m so sorry your mom did this—that must be awful.
Bikesexually had excellent advice. I’ll just add that I believe dahlias should have corms/bulbs that may make them easier to replant.
Would she be more likely to leave things alone if you planted in containers?
Definitely. If they’ve been cooking in the sun awhile, cut the tops, throw the roots in water, and replant. Otherwise just straight replant and water.
Are there dahlias native to North America?
Does your mom live with you? Is it her house, or yours?
If you live together an it is not your property, sometimes the best option is to stick to planting in pots in those situations.
[OP, you may need this book.](https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407)
I promise, I am not trying to be over the top, but I too had a mom who did stuff like this. She’d come to my house and yell at me to rake my yard or get rid of things I was doing to help my soil. It wasn’t just limited to plants though – she tried to control everything.
It took me until I was 39 to see how much she hurt me. Reading this book helped me a lot, and made me able to stick up for myself.
You’ve told your mom no many times, and she has smashed those boundaries time and time again. Actions have consequences, and you can insist that she pays you back for what she destroyed, or some other repercussion.
Do you live with your mom? Whose house is it? If it’s her house there’s not much you can do besides move out, and this passive-aggressive behavior is GOOD reason to move out.
If it’s your house and she’s coming over and doing this, I would not allow her over until you read the riot act read to her: DO NOT TOUCH MY PLANTS.
If she doesn’t get it, I think you need to try different tactic. You could burst into tears in front of her. Totally play it up. Be overly emotional and make it memorable! She’ll probably feel it really bad and then you can forgive her and make her promise never to weed your garden again. 🤣😂🤣
Can I have a word with your mom please.
Why does your mom have gardening privileges?
You’ve got bigger problems than gardening. You need to move out.
Sorry but by the 3rd time my depression would become rage
You’re gonna want to plant something strongly rhizomatous to discourage this, any of the perennial beebalms or strongly rhizamotous sages like Salvia coccinea here in texas.
If you want warfare, plant something thorny.
Sorry your mom did that. It was a rotten thing to do.
I’ve found that planting one single kind of native plant in a bed satisfies the people who hate the native look. Until you get your own plot, maybe think about making a bed of just one kind of wildflower to kneecap her arguments.
Yes, they’ll be fine if you keep the roots in water for a few days and then plant and keep watered for a while so they take. They are used to worse in the wild. They’ll come back next year just fine.
Ban your parents from managing your garden. They mean well, but older generations tend not to understand the concept of native planting and the objectives of ecosystem rehab. They grew up on the propaganda of lawns.
Awww mOoOMmmmmm!!!!
thanks everyone for the awesome advice! I’ve gone ahead and tried a few things in the hopes that they’ll survive! when I was investigating the soil, the rhizomes of the milkweeds i planted last year had thoroughly colonized a good portion of the garden bed, so, yay! they will live to see another year!
the other big plant that was ripped out was the mystery dahlia that came with the seedlings starters I was given. I did buy them from the local soil and water conservation district’s nursery as seedlings but they actually didn’t come with planters tags, so I’m truly not sure what they are, regardless, they have a root ball with little bulbs that i separated and put in a few different environments (back in soil (elsewhere), separated and trimmed in planters pots, and some bulbs stored away in the shed to see how they fare and to give myself some more time to save them 😭😭😭
as for my mom, she does care that they’re something i intentionally planted and she didn’t want to make me upset, but she just doesn’t have the want or desire to dissect what a “weed” is and why she has the knee-jerk reaction to eliminate weeds as soon as they emerge.
she actually notably hacked down a bunch of roses, daffodils, a plum tree sapling, and a peony bush (once) because she thought they were weeds, so anyone’s best guess as to how she views nature is really as good as mine 💀
it’s just ignorance. unfortunately, it feels SO malicious sometimes, but i don’t think she can take care of anything but a lawn (the bald patches in the lawn are screaming, “Not true!!” Right now, probably). it’s like trying to explain to someone who’s performatively disgusted by insects why a mosquito is a neutral part of the ecosystem, even if you really, really don’t like them.
once again, thank you!!! i was super distraught and disappointed, but I’m happy I can try to save these and made my mom feel a little bad in the process even if THAT sounds bad 😅
How old are you?
You can save these by replanting but she will keep doing it, if you want a native garden you’ll have to make it somewhere else. I’d suggest leaving as soon as you are ready and able. This is next level passive aggressive
Replant them in containers and move out. Your mom is a psychopath if she’s doing it on purpose and careless if she’s not. Either way, your should go.